Friday, May 22, 2009

just breathe

I will not let fear destroy all the work I've done.

He lives far away. If he really wanted to physically find me, he would have done so by now.

I have this amazing life to live, and he will stay out of it.

I took some deep breaths and a long walk. The lilacs are in full bloom, there are tiny ducklings on the creek, and the sunset was amazing. Tomorrow I'm going to a writer's workshop. How cool is that?

Tonight, I'll eat something, play my guitar for a while, shower, and sleep soundly.

He can't control me any more, in any way.

Life is good.


Maria said...

I sort of know how you feel. Not in a large way, but in a small one. I have had a blog stalker from day one. She not only let me know in an e-mail that she knew where I worked, where Bing worked and where Liv went to school, but also that she had the blueprints of my home.

I freaked at first. And then, you know...I just got pissed. I went to the police and while they could not do much unless she physically assaulted me or my family, they DID put her on a "person of interest" list. I contacted the head mistress of Liv's school to reiterate that NO one but Bing or I should ever pick up Liv. And I put comment moderation up on my blog since she seemed inclined to leave me sickening little comments.

You just do what you have to do.

I'm sorry. You must be so frightened.

Anna said...

Maria - I am, and I'm not. I would be fairly easy to find, if he knew where to look. But all the mail he sends gets addressed to a workplace that I left fifteen years ago - in the small town I lived in when he met me. And he's in the U.K, with no legal way of getting into Canada. If he found out about the kids, anything about them, I would freak...or if he had any way of learning where I worked...nobody in my family will have anything to do with him. He has made no direct attempt to contact me in many, many years. it was a shocker to see his name, and it brought back so many bad memories that I freaked out a little bit yesterday. But today is better - he has not contacted anyone else in my family, and Iv'e changed the security settings on my facebook so that he can't view my friends, or even send me a message (which he would do, if he could).

What you went through (seem to still be going through) must be so frightening - for someone to have that much info...and it would piss me off as well. It does.