I'm okay, really

I'm not exactly overflowing with guilt, but I feel bad for having left so many words unsaid. But life happens...and for a week or two every September, I have trouble finding my feet in a quickly moving world. So, a quick update before I sleep.

- I started my new job last week. I like the work, the centre seems okay, but I'm not gelling very well with my new assistant. She is a qualified teacher, but she's not qualified to work in a child care centre - a bit complicated, really, but she's not. She took umbrage with the fact that I can't leave her alone with the kids...hey, they're not my rules, the government makes them. And three times today, she corrected me in front of the kids...she...corrected me. My first rule, when working with anyone is that if something needs to be said, it's said away from the kids. I seldom need to correct anyone, because I'm used to working with professionals. And my beef is that I didn't need correcting. Hey, I may not have a B ed, but I know what I'm doing. I'd better, after so many years in the field. She acts like she has this huge chip on her shoulder, doesn't interact with the kids, stands around and looks bored when she has to do mundane things like, serving snack or vacuuming the floor. Part of the job, for supervisors and assistants alike. My prediction: if she so much as smells another job, she's outta there. Overqualified and bored.

-Emily turned 6 on Sunday and started grade 1 on Tuesday. I love her, and I love watching her grow. I do get nostalgic occasionally for my baby, but really, it is so exciting to see her transform as she gets older.

-I'm getting a new laptop this weekend. Well, not brand spanking new, but better than this one, and the price is right! I'll be able to upload video (hopefully)....and store more music...and maybe even upload pics to facebook and blogger without sacrificing an entire afternoon. One can only hope.

-My anemia has flared up again. I have my period. Coincidence? Not at all.

- I made tomato sauce on Saturday and hope to do more this weekend. I love food - cooking it, smelling it, tasting it. When my ex and I split up, that was the thing, seriously, that I missed the most. I love to cook for people - and cooking for the small person doesn't always cut it. She likes Kraft Dinner. I like curries, and food with a bit of heat. One good thing is that we both like tofu, so a stir fry usually goes over well. After I moved here, I stopped cooking for a little while - well, I made stuff, but I didn't put my time and attention towards food as I used to. I've started again - being conscious of what I eat, and how it's made. I used to make my own bread, cookies, granola, yogurt. I'd like to get back to that again, and this time of year is perfect for things like tomato sauce and pesto - I have so much basil, which I love, but I need to use it up, or dry it.

- A good friend of mine is coming to spend a few days with me at the end of September. She lives far away, and I don't get to see her very often, so this is a real treat for me!

-Life is good. In fact, life is great. It takes time for me to wrap my head around change - and the job change has been harder than I'd like. Saying goodbye to the kids at the old centre was rough. And now I have to start all over again somewhere else - hopefully, this job is more secure than my last one.

-I'm beginning to understand that the only person who holds me back is me. And in order to create the life I want, I need to learn a few things. First of all, that I deserve it. Second of all that I can achieve it. And third of all, I need to ask for it.

It's all about learning to dance, and not being afraid to take the lead once in a while. I've never been great at taking risks. But I don't want to wait until it's too late.

Over and out - I hope you are all surviving and thriving this week.