Wednesday, September 9, 2009

I'm okay, really

I'm not exactly overflowing with guilt, but I feel bad for having left so many words unsaid. But life happens...and for a week or two every September, I have trouble finding my feet in a quickly moving world. So, a quick update before I sleep.

- I started my new job last week. I like the work, the centre seems okay, but I'm not gelling very well with my new assistant. She is a qualified teacher, but she's not qualified to work in a child care centre - a bit complicated, really, but she's not. She took umbrage with the fact that I can't leave her alone with the kids...hey, they're not my rules, the government makes them. And three times today, she corrected me in front of the kids...she...corrected me. My first rule, when working with anyone is that if something needs to be said, it's said away from the kids. I seldom need to correct anyone, because I'm used to working with professionals. And my beef is that I didn't need correcting. Hey, I may not have a B ed, but I know what I'm doing. I'd better, after so many years in the field. She acts like she has this huge chip on her shoulder, doesn't interact with the kids, stands around and looks bored when she has to do mundane things like, serving snack or vacuuming the floor. Part of the job, for supervisors and assistants alike. My prediction: if she so much as smells another job, she's outta there. Overqualified and bored.

-Emily turned 6 on Sunday and started grade 1 on Tuesday. I love her, and I love watching her grow. I do get nostalgic occasionally for my baby, but really, it is so exciting to see her transform as she gets older.

-I'm getting a new laptop this weekend. Well, not brand spanking new, but better than this one, and the price is right! I'll be able to upload video (hopefully)....and store more music...and maybe even upload pics to facebook and blogger without sacrificing an entire afternoon. One can only hope.

-My anemia has flared up again. I have my period. Coincidence? Not at all.

- I made tomato sauce on Saturday and hope to do more this weekend. I love food - cooking it, smelling it, tasting it. When my ex and I split up, that was the thing, seriously, that I missed the most. I love to cook for people - and cooking for the small person doesn't always cut it. She likes Kraft Dinner. I like curries, and food with a bit of heat. One good thing is that we both like tofu, so a stir fry usually goes over well. After I moved here, I stopped cooking for a little while - well, I made stuff, but I didn't put my time and attention towards food as I used to. I've started again - being conscious of what I eat, and how it's made. I used to make my own bread, cookies, granola, yogurt. I'd like to get back to that again, and this time of year is perfect for things like tomato sauce and pesto - I have so much basil, which I love, but I need to use it up, or dry it.

- A good friend of mine is coming to spend a few days with me at the end of September. She lives far away, and I don't get to see her very often, so this is a real treat for me!

-Life is good. In fact, life is great. It takes time for me to wrap my head around change - and the job change has been harder than I'd like. Saying goodbye to the kids at the old centre was rough. And now I have to start all over again somewhere else - hopefully, this job is more secure than my last one.

-I'm beginning to understand that the only person who holds me back is me. And in order to create the life I want, I need to learn a few things. First of all, that I deserve it. Second of all that I can achieve it. And third of all, I need to ask for it.

It's all about learning to dance, and not being afraid to take the lead once in a while. I've never been great at taking risks. But I don't want to wait until it's too late.

Over and out - I hope you are all surviving and thriving this week.


MakingSpace said...

What a beautiful post! Your last paragraph about risk taking made me smile and brought tears to my eyes. Blessings to you. Big smiles at seeing you back on your blog, but no need to apologize for living such a rich life that it keeps you off the computer for a bit. Just grateful that you came back to share your joy.

Solo Homo said...

Reading that post nearly put me into sensory overload...I can smell your kitchen! :)

"Umbrage" was a word my Mother used frequently. Haven't heard it since she passed away...Thanks for that memory.

I'm sooooo glad you're getting the new word, Cam. VIDEO.
I'm just sayin'...

You'll be getting the email Sunday.

Loved getting back here and catching up with you!

Anonymous said...

Thank you for the update. I hope things improve a bit at work and I especially hope that you don't get too ill with the anemia this month.

shane rocket said...

right on! smell the roses.

good news about the cool new laptop!!!

Anonymous said...

I understand where you are coming from with this assistant. I hate when people correct you in front of others whether they are kids or adults and not off to the side. That is just rude.

My son is picky with what he eats and it makes it difficult making dinner knowing I want something more interesting and if it has vegtables, he will probably hate it. Or even if it something slightly different, could be a hassle.

Margo said...

Screw the assistant (not literally) and soak up Emily every minute you can.
Storm is in third grade this year and I didn't even cry on his first day. I'm getting better as he gets older, but I still miss those little years.

Earth Muffin said...

I feel for you with the assistant. I've always been blessed with great assistants at work, but I've seen the bad ones in action and it makes me cringe. Maybe her getting another job wouldn't be such a bad thing!

Glad to hear you're well and happy. Thanks for the update!

Maria said...

I'm always sort of amazed at child care workers. I don't have the patience to do anything like that. I am lucky in that Liv has always had wonderful Montessori teachers. I think ALL schools should be Montessori, I really do. What is your opinion of Montessori? I'm curious.

Camlin said...

Solo - you should smell my kitchen now! Tomato sauce and roasted peppers for the freezer...yum!

My new computer is not exactly new, but much better than my old one...I still have to transfer all the files over, but there's no big rush.

My assistant is getting better...she just doesn't get it. She's an elementary school teacher, newly qualified, and she doesn't seem to understand the differences between school and after-school care. She wears heels and white sweaters to a place where we run and play soccer, and paint. But at least by Friday she was speaking to the kids, so it was getting better.

I love Montessori. I wish that we had been able to afford it for Emily, but it is not for everyone. The centre I work in follows the "emergent" model, which is completely child-led and directed, and I am really comfortable with that model, especially for school-age child care.