vent

On November 6th of last year, my daughter (the older one, almost 19) was hit by a car while she was crossing the street. She was at a traffic light, the light was green, the walk sign was on, and a girl about her age who happened to be texting while driving turned left and hit her. Those of you who have followed me from my old blog have already heard the story.

Megan broke her right tibia/fibula. It was an open fracture, she was hospitalized, had surgery, was sent home with an estimated 3-4 month recovery time.

It's been eight months. During three of those months she needed round the clock care - she could walk with crutches, but she was unable to carry anything, do anything for herself including cooking, carrying things, getting up out of bed, getting up and down the stairs independently.

Eight months later, almost to the day, she's still using a crutch or cane, she's only able to weight bear 50%. Her lower leg is swollen, and sometimes hot to the touch. We've seen our family practitioner and our surgeon multiple times. Sometimes I can go with her, and sometimes I can't. She wants answers. She gets platitudes:

"Some people take longer to heal than others."

"Do you smoke (no!)If you smoke, it will take longer for you to heal."

"Just keep going to physio, and here, try this ultrasound machine."

"We'll assess in two, four, six, ten weeks. You might need additional surgery."

Last week, her physiotherapist wrote a note to her GP, requesting that Megan receive a second orthopedic opinion. Apparently her muscles have healed, and are fully strengthened. But she still can't walk properly, or weight bear.

Which means that she can't work, go to school, go for a walk longer than two or three blocks, ride a bike, dance, do the normal things that 19 year olds like to do. She needs to keep her leg elevated a lot of the time, because if she doesn't it will swell. So no movies or concerts (I sneaked her out to see the Indigo Girls, but she elevated her leg on the ride down to Buffalo and back).

She volunteers at my workplace although it gives her pain because she's desperate to leave the house.

It will be a very long time before she works retail again. She's a high-school dropout. Retail is all she knows. She will likely not be able to do any work that requires prolonged standing.

My kid is strong. Her sudden loss of independence has been a test of her strength, and she's come out on top, emotionally. But she's paying for someone else's carelessness.

First of all, drivers need their hands on the steering wheel. I've used my cell phone in the car, only if I have to, but for crying out loud, why would anyone think it's okay to take their hand (s) off the wheel and then proceed to look down to write a text message? That's just dumb.

And then there are the worthies in the medical profession. The doctors who have not taken my daughter seriously. Who, even now, are disregarding her symptoms, and ignoring her questions. She's been asking the same question for months and no one has given her an answer.

What's wrong with my leg?

Surely a family physician and an ortho surgeon can put their heads together and arrive at an answer. Or seek out the opinion of colleagues. Or something.

But no, she gets platitudes.

Today, she went to our family doctor to ask, for the third time, for a second medical opinion. The doctor refused - she wants Megan to stay with the same surgeon for some unfathomable reason. So Megan asks the questions again.

What's wrong with my leg?
Why is it swelling?
Sometimes it's hot to the touch, and the skin is red. Is this normal?

And today, someone got their head out of their butt, and decided, maybe, just maybe she may have a blood clot. So they booked an appointment for a doppler and sent her home.

I should mention that blood clots are a serious and well-known complication of both surgical procedures and lower leg fractures. One would think that doctors would be checking, oh, routinely for that sort of thing. But eight months out, this is the first time anyone has checked her, listened to her symptoms which have not changed in months, and followed up.

They sent her home.

Without explaining what a blood clot is. Without explaining the risk factors, or telling her how to care for herself. I only know about the appointment because she doesn't have a phone, and the doctor's office called me to give the appointment time.

No one talked to her about pulmonary embolisms. About the symptoms to look for (chest pain, shortness of breath, breathing difficulty, feeling lightheaded or faint). They just sent her home. Alone.

It's not necessarily good practice to scare people, but really, some basic self-care is required. Rest. Elevate the leg. Watch for warning signs of complications. Is that too difficult?

Or do medical professionals feel that routine instructions are beyond the capacity of a young female?

What if I were asking the questions? Or her stepdad? Would we be getting different answers, more complete answers? If we were pushing for a second opinion, I bet the doctor would allow us to seek one out.

Ageism. Sexism. The thing is, my daughter has been living independently since shortly before she turned 18. She is a competent adult. She can figure things out. As a human being, she deserves to be treated the same as any other adult woman or man who walks into a doctor's office, or who is carried through emergency room doors on a stretcher.

If she has a blood clot, she's had it for months. My kid has been a walking time bomb and I didn't even know. She could have died. She might, still. What would I do without her?


I'm worried. and I'm completely pissed off. Can you tell?