Sunday, January 31, 2010

A poem for Brighid


Feel free to copy the following to your blog/facebook/website and spread
the word. Let poetry bless the blogosphere once again!

WHAT: A Bloggers (Silent) Poetry Reading

WHEN: Anytime February 2, 2010

WHERE: Your blog

Brighid is the goddess of fire and the forge, of healing and poetry. On February 2 we celebrate Imbolc (yeah, and groundhog day, which does have pagan orogins). Imbolc is a fire feast in the middle of winter, a time to look for signs of spring, to look forward to the coming growing season.

On Imbolc we choose or rededicate ourselves to our magical names. I think I'll stick with Camlin. Any disagreements?? We can also dedicate ourselves to a goddess for the year - preferably a goddess who embodies the qualities that we want to emphasize or work with in the coming months.

I've chosen two goddesses. Because I need to work closely with two elements in the coming months - fire (passion, sexuality,inspiration and creativity) and earth (home, earth, money, career, the body). I am such an air person already - I need to ground myself and stretch my wings.

My fixation with poetry right now seems to be no accident. I'm more in tune with the wheel of the year than I realized.  These are my poems for Brighid:

 (Poem #1)  Blessing

May You
huddled, screaming,
pulsing with survival,
grab what you can,
shove forward,
gape at emptiness
as death floats around you.

maim, shoot, destroy
deny another,
suffer harm
while darkness encroaches
safe space, leaving
empty-belly, aching, gnawing

May You
waiting patient,
life in tatters,
shards of wood, bodies,
debris floating alongside
your sodden, hungry,
diseased self

despair with shock,
grief, anger
too dry for tears
wanting only breath, sustenance, life,
as you, animal that we are
slake your growing
to live.

In my coven we have a beautiful tradition. At the end of each ritual, we share grape and grain. We make wishes for each other, based on what happened at the ritual, and we say "May you never hunger," and "may you never thirst." I wrote the above poem in 1995, as I watched CNN and cried over Katrina.  And now there's Haiti....

Poem #2  Relic

She clings to them,

bare millimeters of hair
scraps of cloth
faded, sky-blue cut
with pinking shears, folded,
encased in plastic wrapped
with silver hung
on a chain
around her neck.

This one cured a child's illness.
That one caused
a blind woman to see
when she fingered
its loveliness and sighed.
Oh, and he,
he mortified himself daily
spoke his sacrifice
for the sake of redemption
and died
in a state of grace,
having eaten nothing for
more than three years.
Except for holy flesh
and holy blood.

What is my holy?
Shall I hang it about
my neck, a relic?
A relict, bereft
of all things earthy
and worthy, must I forsake
the flesh of loving and
the blood of
fiery longing?

I wear my passion
like a holy cross forged
with molten metals.
Now it shall burn through
my skin, permeate my blood
be carried through my body
down to earth
into air.
Surround me
with the glow
of all that is.

( I wrote this yesterday in Tim Hortons - for those of you who are reading from any state other than Michigan, think Dunkin' Donuts...for some odd reason, I do my best writing in busy, noisy places.)

Tuesday, January 26, 2010


I should tell you that
my open hands, splayed
veins prominent
encircling my wrists
rising into long fingers,
I once knew those hands
as sausages are
in rounds of fat.
And those hands
were idle
waiting,it seems
for someone to
hold them.

But this moment,
these hands,
lean, bony, sinewy,
are hands of action.
Pen-gripping, pick-wielding
the left fingertips calloused
with practice
and persistence. With purpose.
they can move gently
across an animal's furred back,
encircle a child's heart,
caress sloping shoulders,
read braille in a body curve.
They refuse lethargy, they
do not wait
to be held.

Hands with purpose
make light work
of heavy burdens
and drip
with their own sweetness.

(I know, I know I should be doing a proper update, but I'm feeling poetic today - and there's a lot more going on internally than I'm properly able to explain in the few short moments I find myself with at the end of the day. But things are mostly positive...especially when I think positive thoughts. And life is good! I'll try to squeeze a few blogging moments in tomorrow, after family literacy night, or perhaps Thursday after coffee...Friday, maybe?  )

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Hello out there!

Did you know that today, January 14th, is National Delurker day???

So come out of the woodwork! Tell me who you are - I accept anonymous comments, so make up a name if you want to...I'm just curious to see who's reading. And if you read regularly, and you always comment, leave one anyways. I'm always happy to hear from my blogging friends.

And, please, send some good thoughts towards Haiti. I'm trying to figure out how much (if anything) I can afford to give. 50,000 people is...too many to really comprehend.

Saturday, January 9, 2010


First came the transfer

Annabella works on the design

A little bit of colour

It didn't hurt very much - it was kind of like prolonged stinging.

 The finished product.

I'm kinda hoping that the sign is true.

Another shot.

So, what do you think?

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Thursday, January 7, 2010

it begins

The year begins with resolve - to focus my energy on my passions, to write more and more often. To set creative goals for myself and live them. To set personal goals for myself and live them. To love life, and the people in my life. To welcome new people, ideas and dreams into my existence.

I'm in a good place. It's a quiet place, with notebooks strewn all over my room, and pens that run out of ink at crucial moments. I like it here - in spite of the snow and cold. I cook warm lovely things in the crock pot and freeze them for the days when I don't have time to make wholesome food. I curl up under the blankets at night with gratitude for the blessing I have, and the people who enrich my days.

I have a lovely new coat.

I am learning how to mainfest the love that I so deeply desire.

I am surrounded with peace and love.

My mom is able to openly talk about my sexuality. I went to a family gathering that didn't suck. Two of my cousins sat down with me after lunch and congratulated me - really - on my new self-awareness. I was almost in tears because they made it so easy for me to be myself.

My sister and I had a conversation on Christmas Eve that went like this:

She: "I found a woman for you."
Me "Oh, really. Who is she?"
She: I don't know. I was at Dollarama."
Me: "Does she work there?"
She: No. She was in line, but she was really hot. Kind of butch, with a baseball cap."
Me: "well, did you talk to her? Did you get her number?"
She: "No. But I thought about you."
Me: "Oh....thanks."

For a split second there, I thought my sister was going to set me up with someone and I was ecstatic.

And then I realized that we had had an open conversation about my dating life, in my mom's house, surrounded by my family and I was ecstatic. Because it's normal to talk about dating....and she went out of her way to be open and positive. I think I love her...well, I already did.

This year I'm going to live my dream - some day I will earn a living as a writer and it starts now. By writing, and sharing what I write, and sending my precious words off into the world in hopes that other people will want to read them.

I will not be alone for much longer, and it starts now. By opening myself up to new experiences and meeting new people, and just learning that it's okay to be open, and to give and receive openly.

For the moment, at least for the next week or so, I have to work on visualizing myself as healthy - seeing those red blood cells coursing through my body with lots and lots of healthy hemoglobin. I've been feeling really great, a bit tired, but so positive about things that it came as a complete shock to learn that my hemoglobin is down to 87. Normal is 125. Last year, my hemo dropped to 68 and I had a transfusion - I'd like to avoid that this time. So I'll do what I can to get healthy again, so I can enjoy all the love, creativity and abundance that's coming into my life.

2010 is going to be great!