Saturday, April 17, 2010

m.i.a

This week has gone by too quickly  - for both good and bad reasons.

A dear friend lost her 21 year old son. It was unexpected and as yet unexplained. My heart aches for her.

I've been chatting with a woman that I like. I haven't met her yet.

I formed an excellent connection at the Fen (have you read about The Fen yet?). I'm enjoying that connection as well. Who knows where it will go?

Speaking of the Fen, yours truly humbly submits that she was cited in Wikipedia! I feel like I've suddenly hit the big time.

But I need to start writing under my given name, rather than my blogger handle.

I've been doing a lot of thinking and not a lot of writing. My style has changed since coming out, and some of my work really doesn't reflect that change. When I freewrite these amazing words seem to come out of nowhere, and my older prose simply doesn't measure up. So I've stopped revising my old stuff. I'm getting bored. And I want to concentrate on new work.

That being said, a new connection had some wonderful things to say about a short story I shared with her, and I value her opinion highly.

I've turned a corner with regards to my self-image. I need to devote a whole blog post to that little rennaisance. All of you, especially those who have followed me since the journey began, know how I've struggled with my appearance...for no apparent reason, except there's a disconnect between my body and my brain. Things have...evolved. Part of that is the validation of knowing that other people really do find me attractive - not just people who read my dating profile, but people who meet me in real life. It's very satisfying, but it really is a positive mental shift for me.

Along with that, I've spent some time thinking about the kind of relationship I want right now. And I have a much better notion of my goals for dating and relationships. This is good - visualizing the future requires me to have some sense of what I want to accomplish, both short and long-term.

It's all good.

Except that my friend lost her son. Please send a few good thoughts her way.

5 comments:

Brahm said...

Good post as always, congrats on bing in Wikipedia - that is a milestone for sure!

Warm thoughts out to your friend...

greg said...

I'm so sorry for your friend, what a tragedy.

As for you, it seems like you are doing pretty great - good for you.

jelly said...

So sorry for your friend, I can't imagine the pain she is feeling at this time. I wish her all the best.

Good for you and your writing sounds awesome.

SquirtyB said...

I can't imagine your friend's loss...

So nice to hear about your writing and your self image. I think I have gone through I similar process in regards to self image in the last couple of years. I have had more than one person tell me I am happier than they have ever seen me.

Dragon said...

So sorry for your friends loss. Wow 21 is way too young. Positive energies being sent her way.