Saturday, December 3, 2011

begin

It's been so long since I've come to this space.

It's not a lack of writing or inspiration that keeps me away. In fact, it's the opposite. I have several notebooks filled - with my hand-scripted morning pages, story ideas, narratives and even song lyrics. It's the need for pen and paper that keeps me away, coupled with a very busy summer season.

I began my blogging life with so many questions, so many unanswered desires. it was truly a quest to discover who I am. While I have a better idea, I also know that self-discovery is a lifelong journey. I am still learning. May I continue to learn.

But where I was once wracked with agony and loneliness, life has changed for me. The winter sun is just rising above the trees that frame the creek bank near my house, and shines warmly through my kitchen window. I am still in the same place, my daughter is watching TV in the next room, and my love is asleep upstairs. My love is awake in my heart.

There is much more to be said. But as my personal struggles have eased, as I've come to a new understanding of who I am, and what place I want to hold in the world, I find myself unable to hold back from expressing the things that matter. All the things that matter.

Equality and human rights are foremost, alongside a deep and abiding love for this planet. I want to share with you some of the changes I have made, some of the plans I have to get right with the earth, get right with my body...life is so full right now. I feel like there is so much to do, and I fear leaving some of the important bits undone.

For several months now, I've been planning to move - well, eventually I will move to a new physical home, but that will take time, money and planning. My next move will be to a new virtual space, with the same name and a slightly different location. It will be very easy to find me, because I will leave traces of myself everywhere. I waited too long in the shadows, longer than I should have (to paraphrase a musical line that resonates with me), and I don't intend to recede. What I need to do, more than ever, is face the sunlight, live my truth, and love with an open heart. For some, an open heart comes easily. For me, there is hard work in opening myself to all the love and energy that surrounds me. I am grateful, so grateful that life has led me here.

4 comments:

Laine said...

So happy for you Cam. Please let us know where you move your site to.

small town dyke said...

I read this with tears in my eyes. I am so happy for you. It has been amazing to watch you come into your own and I only wish good things for you. Be blessed.

Redbone210 said...

Your blog was one of the first ones I turned to when I started on my new journey towards happiness. And while I've missed your writing, I have been confident that your absence has been because you've been living a full life.

Please let us know where you land. I'd like to keep hearing your voice.

Eastcoastdweller said...

I like this post.